And now, kindly bow your heads in honor of the national anthem…

Lyrics:

“Oh oh say can you see
By DONNST earl-early light
We’re so prowly we hey
By the… Twilights…that leaming
Er, the rockets WERE glare
And the Rockets were blurred
(dramatic pause)
*trumpet instrumental to close*”

Look, we didn’t say which nation’s anthem. Apparently, where this guy comes from, his homeland won it’s independence by overcoming the very real, and very dangerous, threat of unclear and possibly overly pixelated rockets that moved so speedily they couldn’t be seen. Also, sparkly vampires may have been involved.

I’m just glad he lives to tell the tale.

Well, parts of it anyway.