Philadelphia.

My hometown.

The City of Brotherly Love.

Known for its vibrant character, my city is defined by the following: cheesesteaks, soft pretzels, a rich historical significance, diehard sports fans, and (unfortunately) our crime rate. This being said, I feel as though one essential, defining characteristic of our fine city is oft overlooked: our undeiniably unique female population.

So, it is with great pride, and no further hesitation, that I present to you, my tribute to the women of Philadelphia —- in the tune of Katy Perry’s current smash hit, here is Philadelphia Gurls.

Enjoy…

(lyrics after the jump…read more)

(Verse 1)
I. know a place. 
Where the girls are really meaner.
Rough, loud, and wild.
There must be somethin in their wooder.
Abs, tits, and donk. 
Yea there are some with real tight bodies.
The ones that I meet,
Have faces harder than the concrete. 
(Bridge)
And you can act like i lie,
But a Philly ten is an LA five.
Cause once they turn on the lights
You’ll wanna run and cry—-i eee-i eee-i eeee-i
(Chorus)
Phil-a-del-phia gurls
Theyre slightly adequate.
Pajama pants, wife beaters on top.
Gel crunched, hardened hair,
They’ll poke your eyeballs out.
Whoa oh oh oh oh, oh whoa oh oh oh

Phil-a-del-phia gurls
Drinks make them viable.
Hot-mess-fierce
They got it on lock.
Philly represent
Get the brown bags up.
Whoa oh oh oh oh, oh whoa oh oh oh

(Verse 2)
Trash. In the streets.
Purse full of condoms and nail glue
Can’t define, Discrete.
Lots of muffin tops and belly-do’s. (oh no)
(Bridge)
And you can act like i lie,
But a Philly ten is an LA five.
Cause once they turn on the lights
You’ll wanna run and cry—-i eee-i eee-i eeee-i
(Chorus)
Phil-a-del-phia gurls
Theyre slightly adequate.
Pajama pants, wife beaters on top.
Gel crunched, hardened hair,
They’ll poke your eyeballs out.
Whoa oh oh oh oh, oh whoa oh oh oh

Phil-a-del-phia gurls
Drinks make them viable.
Hot-mess-fierce
They got it on lock.
Philly represent
Get the brown bags up.
Whoa oh oh oh oh, oh whoa oh oh oh

(Editor’s note: Beanie Sigel would have provided a rap verse, but he was unable to be reached as he was probably too busy smashing fat, white broads named Stacie or Crystal.)